All the days have run together, but I'm still withdrawing

I haven't written since Sunday and I thought it very necessary to keep this up to date. I'm good at starting things and then I either get distracted or just get bored and won't go much further. I'm trying to not do this here. Well, it's been a week and 2 days since trying to withdraw. Well I hate to admit this even to myself, but I'm not doing as well I thought I would. But I have to remind myself that it took me a month to get off of Ativan. So why rush this-just take your time. Today I bought Valerian pills from Wholefoods. When I was feeling woozy I took one when I ate lunch. I felt much better. I had done some reading before withdrawing that Valerian root would help with the withdrawal symptoms. It was right. I took one with my meal. Within an hour the lightheadness had gone and I wasn't manic anymore. Of course, it doesn't last all day because about an 11/2 ago the physical symptoms came back including that all the lights on in my house are just too bright. I took 1 of my 2 EXR pills. I am determined that I will not be on this for all of my life. I'll find an alternate way to regulate my brain. I can't write longer because I'm going to the big, scary free hospital in the morning-uh like at 6am. So I know I'll have lots more to write about then.